As we reach a certain age and start fretting about retirement, many of us forget about one of the best resources for retirement advice: the people we most trust.
“Any time you have a major life transition you should seek out counsel,” says Patrice Jenkins, an organizational psychologist based in Saratoga Springs, N.Y. “If you are going into this alone, you probably have blinders on that you’re not aware of.”
That’s why you can’t retire until you have spoken to these eight crucial people in your life:
Your spouse
Yes, this one is obvious. But there’s a good chance you haven’t focused on the most important reason to talk to your spouse, says Jenkins. Finding out if you are on the same retirement “page” is absolutely critical, she says. And too often, couples discover the opposite too late in the game. So talking about their expectations is critical.
Question: Why do you want me to retire—or not retire? If the two of you are not on the same page, this is the moment to listen, discuss and make necessary compromises, Jenkins says. She and her husband wrote a “manifesto” that detailed both of their retirement visions. After writing them, they discovered that her husband was in more of a “winding down” stage while she was “gearing up.” The key was figuring out where to converge their goals, she says.
Your adult children
Adult sons and daughters should be next on the list, says Tom Balcom, a certified financial planner and founder of 1650 Wealth Management in Lighthouse Point, Fla. They have plans of their own and need to be included in discussions about your care as you age, he says.
Question: Where will you be living when I retire? Adult children tend to be a bedrock of help as you grow older, Balcom says. You want to know where they plan to live because that’s likely where your grandchildren are going to be, too, he adds.
Your doctor
This is especially important if you’ve had the same doctor for years, because he or she can have unique insights to offer.
Question No. 1: What have you noticed about patients who adjust well to retirement versus those who don’t? Your doctor likely has seen many patients in the same position you are now in, says Mitch Anthony in Rochester, Minn., an author on personal finance and retirement.
Question No. 2: Is there something you know—or that I’m refusing to acknowledge—that would impact my future health? “Sometimes we don’t want to know what we should know,” says Jenkins. “Having your doctor be really honest is important.”
Your HR chief
Human-resources chiefs are on the shortlist not only because they know all the details of the company’s financial options for retirees (pension plans, 401(k)s, IRAs), but because they’ve also observed the good and bad choices that company retirees typically make, says Jason Parker, a financial adviser in Silverdale, Wash.
Question:Can you help me to get my retirement structure in place before I retire? While you’re at it, Parker says, you might want to find out from your HR chief if you can roll your 401(k) into an IRA while still working.
Your closest siblings
Talking to siblings can be extremely helpful, or not, depending on your relationship. If you’re close, bring them into the tent, Jenkins says. They have known you most of your life, she says. You might also consider making plans to live nearby.
Question:What do you think will be most challenging for me in retirement? Perhaps no one can answer this better than a sibling.
Your financial adviser
Arguably, more discussions around the topic of retirement begin in the offices of financial advisers than anywhere else, says Anthony, who has been part of thousands of these discussions. But, ironically, the most important question to ask your financial adviser might not be whether or not your portfolio is retirement-ready, says Anthony.
Question No. 1: What is the most important trait in your clients who adjusted well in retirement? Nudge them for specifics as to why certain clients have adjusted well as opposed to those who didn’t, says Anthony.
Question No. 2: Is my retirement financially feasible? “I’ve met with clients who do not have enough money to retire and I have had to give a financial ‘tough-love’ talk,” Balcom says.
A trusted colleague
This is probably someone who knows you and the company very well.
Question: If you were me, would you retire at this stage? You may be retiring prematurely, because you feel stuck in your job or you have a boss you don’t like. A trusted colleague might offer you a different perspective. Or perhaps know of a position that offers further opportunity for meaningful growth, says Jenkins.
Yourself
If you haven’t experienced a major transition over the past decade or two, you are probably out of practice. This makes it even more important that you first have a retirement discussion with yourself before you have one with anyone else, says Jenkins.
Question: What am I retiring to? In other words, says Jenkins, what will you be waking up to every Monday morning? Also ask yourself, on a scale of 1 to 10, how confident are you that you will successfully transition into retirement, she says. If that number isn’t a 9 or 10, then figure out a way to boost that score before you retire.
***
Bruce Horovitz is a writer in Falls Church, Va.
Dow Jones & Company, Inc.